Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Mood Hoovers

Don’t be a Mood Hoover!


Forget Swine Flu, there is a new epidemic sweeping the nation which is much more contagious and threatening than a sneeze! Every minute of everyday millions of people are succumbing to the merciless misery of Mood Hoovers. Yep, that’s right, Mood Hoovers!

To clarify, Mood Hoovers are cheerless beings that wander amongst us constantly sucking the positive optimism out of daily life. They thrive on negativity and thoroughly enjoy any excuse to moan. Even the smallest, most remote sign of happiness is automatically squashed by their dreary attitudes.

Beware, there is probably a Mood Hoover lurking around you right now, just ready and waiting to begin their lethal attack. Don’t worry, just avoid any sudden head movements and keep reading, they should hopefully lose interest and go and pester the receptionist like they always do.

Unfortunately, whilst Mood Hoovers are relatively easy to spot, it is not as easy to escape from their gloomy clutches. Once a Mood Hoover has trapped you in one of their woeful lectures, the miserable transformation begins. Soon enough your optimistic soul becomes downtrodden by negativity. Any ambition you once had is long gone; so too is your spontaneity. Your legendary quick wit vanishes along with that big circle of friends you once had.

You convince yourself that your dream career is suddenly a silly and unachievable aspiration. You start to become irrationally frustrated with life and spend your whole time finding fault with everything. And just like that, another Mood Hoover is born.

Those most vulnerable to this transformation are graduates. They spend the whole of their lives sheltered in education, constantly being told that anything is possible; the sky’s the limit!

Unsurprisingly, the moment that dissertation is written graduates cannot wait to be bamboozled by the host of exciting adventures, opportunities and challenges that they have been promised. However, the stark reality that graduates soon realise is that the big wide world has just as many Mood Hoovers as adventures, opportunities and challenges put together. “This is the real world” they say, “you’re an adult now with real responsibilities.

Of course you can’t let that student loan fester whilst you go volunteering in Australia”. As a result, the large majority of students reluctantly settle for a job that they know is a million miles away from their ideal career.

They promise it is only for the short term so that they can rid themselves of the rather menacing student debt and silence their Mood Hoovering critics.

Sadly, before they know it a year has passed and then another and another, until one day they wake up and wonder what ever happened to that student who wanted to try everything, do anything and go everywhere.

However, the fight against Mood Hoovers begins now! Too much optimistic energy has been snatched from us positive folk and it’s time this changed. Life is a playground, full of excitement, fun and promise and we need to enjoy it.

I certainly won’t be a victim of the Mood Hoover epidemic. I intend to ignore the misery and gloom they promote and cram in as many spontaneous opportunities, adventures and challenges that I possibly can, and I strongly advise you to do the same!

On that note, I will see you at the top of Mt Snowdon this Saturday!

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  1. I couldn’t agree more!!! We call them “zappers” and “sappers” ; the first group infuse your life with energy and positive possibilities and you should spark off these people as much as possible, the second group (a.k.a. Mood Hoovers) do exactly the opposite and should be avoided at all costs! So go climb Snowdon, swim with dolphins, write your novel etc, etc, etc. Life’s too short to do otherwise!

  2. Good blog post – Not trying to dull the mood or anything but just add in extra line breaks between paragraphs otherwise it becomes really hard to read….

  3. Strange; read the ‘piece’ again. The Author writes about herself, in that she is a Mood Hoover.


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