By Laura Moxley
Let’s skip straight to the “Marry me” stage…
Avoiding the 10 different levels of dating.
Of course, it’s all hypothetical talk and not literal. But dating, seriously… it sucks! No one wants to admit they have feelings, too many are overly protective of their hearts and the rest fear commitment. Nobody knows how on earth to deal with dating anymore!
Whether you’re 25, 55 or 75 years old it seems apparent the struggle is as equally difficult regardless of age. We can all wish for old fashioned love, in hope it will make another come around but unlike ‘back in the day,’ finding someone new to date is now all too easy.
Thanks to today’s expectations, social media and vast selection of dating apps, you’re so easily pushed onto the back burner. Regardless of your physical attraction and mental connection. Suddenly, you’ve become replaceable. Not enough time is spent getting to know the real human, yet far too much time is spent digitally communicating instead.
Time is a fickle thing.
Hours are spent losing yourselves deep in conversation, sharing secrets and excitement of mutual interests. Then, with just a flutter of your eyelash you’re nothing but two strangers. Life itself is peculiar, isn’t it?
Are you the heart on the sleeve wearer?
Expressing thoughts and feelings to your date, in hope of acceptance or maybe even reciprocation? Not realising that you may be planting yourself in a vulnerable spot. Do it anyway! Share those feelings.
The glorious mess.
You know that wearing five layers of makeup isn’t demonstrating the real you, so you embrace your natural state and adopt the attitude of “If they like me, they will like me the way I am”.
But, remember a little goes a long way… Be a “Monday to Friday” you, with a little added sparkle.
Unconsciously maintaining a guard of protection: due to past experiences it’s become natural to protect yourself in transparent armour. Do you live in fear that showing your hand to early could open you up to rejection? There is a happy medium to be discovered when sharing yourself and protecting your heart. Be brave!
The Faker to impress-err.
Do you dress in a particular way to dazzle your date rather than for yourself? Do you agree to go camping for the weekend because that’s what your date wants to hear? When in reality you’d rather bath in cold beans then be confined to a tent outdoors, pretending to be a country bumpkin. Be honest! If we were all the same and agreed on everything, life would become exceptionally boring!
The Box ticker.
As if there isn’t enough pressure on you to be the “perfect” date, you now find yourself in competition with a list!
Be someone’s reason to ditch the box ticking. Don’t be the date with the clipboard, stop trying to find someone you think you want when in reality your perfect match could be the total opposite. Be open minded!
Stop haunting your crush, by watching their social media movements. Take the old fashioned approach, have the courage to speak up and take the time to get to know them. Discuss your feelings, have fun and enjoy experiencing new things together. Accept their flaws, forgive them for small mistakes, we’re only human after all!
Appreciate, apologise and accept. What doesn’t belong will fall through your fingers like quick sand. So for now bear the confusion, it will all make sense in the end.